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Chapter Nineteen
The Jewel is so bursting with the boundlessness of its Source, it yearns and is impelled to propagate. It is readied to become manifold and abundant, to reflect the One into the many.
Consciousness separates from its contents and is absorbed in the "I Am" Presence. It is awakened to recognize Oness in every being and awareness. With the Jewel as center of its Heart, it is freed from the confines of personal history and circumstance and is empowered to express universal and spiritual qualities.
It uses the Jewel of Paradox as a means to transcend the material realm and consciousness, the limited and ephemeral. It lives out of its awakened wholeness. As an integral part of its psyche, the Jewel of Paradox can be used to catalyze others' transformation in the salf-same way.
PROJECTION and DISPERSION
"Wizard, sir, we await you." We await you echoes from both realms, from this man outside the door, from Meriflur and the others there in the Valley. The call fulfills and inspires me. "The Hall is full and we have been waiting so long for your Wisdom Talk." His complaining voice wines as fingernails impatiently scratch on the door. The same voice I heard when taking the Plang's potion. I'm sitting cross- legged on the table in the room with a pink star on the door. Down the hallway I hear the faucet's steady drip. The fly still futiley thumps from wall to wall. I twist and look into the mirror at my back. Its me. At least, its my face. My skin is darker, I note without surprise. I'm wearing the black fez and long sequined robe Plang favored. But the one who is looking is very different. It's like looking at a play mask of myself. My real face is the one I vividly know within, beyond form and feature. The one reflected in the mirror smiles back. The fly thuds on the mirror. I trap it in my cupped hands, open the door and, with best wishes, let it go. Somewhere in my deep mind, I realize I'm prepared for this Talk. It seems I've done it many, many times before. The awareness that perceives all this also perceives the Other. I am here, Jason the Wizard. And I am there, with the others, Yason the Dreamer. Here and there. Both selves go on in this one life now. "Sir, it is time for your Wisdom Talk. Please!" His knuckles brush across the door. Yes, it is time. "Yes, yes, my friend" I gently answer the peeved man. "I am here." I listen to his footsteps as he walks off. I know there's no hesitation or question in his mind when he heard my voice. It's the voice he's always heard. My voice, he surely recognizes as the Wizard's. I get down off the table, an easy, painless unfolding. My body is open and alive. As I stretch, I thrill to the whole matrix of my selves consciously embodied. "Thank you deeply, Plang," I whisper and I know he hears. "You are my way-shower, my dispeller of confusion, my beloved benefactor. I hold your gifts with great honor."
Oh, Lord of Darkness and of Light Now fully present in Your Sight, I see Your grace in everything, and know You as the Self of every being.
I fully enjoy each step as I walk past the dripping faucet and the dank smell, through the arched doorway, and out into the Hall. I wait there as my attention and energy-aura expand to fill the room, to permeate it with this pillar of light, with this pure beingness that fills me. I sigh with gratitude and a profound sense of homecoming. The room grows quiet with my calm. I mount the three steps up to the stage. Each step is a gateway, an ascension into a higher consciousness and heart. As I step up on the chair and comfortably sit-cross legged on the card table, I barely keep from laughing as I remember how strange it looked the first time I saw the Wizard do this, how perfectly right it feels now. A few deep breaths to settle fully into my body, into this place and moment. A simple gesture, like a bird spreading its wings to rest on the guiding winds. It's like that in this luminous connectedness of the Wholelife Energy Bound. There's no need for thought. Nothing in the mind at all. It has flourished far beyond its contents into pure and total Presence. The natural wonder of flawless peace and inner well-being. I am still. Absolutely without tension. There are slight ripples of thought and feeling, like sunlight refracting off a pond. Empty of myself and waiting with pleasant expectation, prepared to accept whatever is. My Third Eye tingles with life-force flowing through it, with conscious access to every realm and resource. Totally here. Choicelessly aware. Inwardly, devotionally, I guide that Wisdom Eye down into its waiting place. It becomes the Eye of my Heart. I pray as I sit here, head bowed, not to One distant and unknown, but to One I experience within me, as my true Self, this Self that is the Source of all our beings and their purposes.
Lord of Darkness and of Light, Now all is merged within Your sight. I pray You use me in this place, That each may know You As their own true Face.
Peace flows through me, peace that stills the mind whileand opens to touch all realms, peace that nurtures my heart with my Heart. An effortless miracle. Now, now is the time to be Its witness and servant. I open my eyes and compassionately gaze into each waiting face before me. Simply through intention, I come into resonance with this same Self of Light in each one, seeing them, not with the body's narrow senses, but from the knowing that I am part of everything, that each one of them shares some part of me through the work of this Light. Seeing the radiance of the Divine Impulse shining through them, every nuance and coloration in the layers of their personhood stand out boldly. Their life's gifts and tasks, their blessings, wounds and longings, the buried parts that move them, but that they may never see. In this Light, all is transparent to the Eye of my Heart as it moves from soul to soul. Yes, this is a gift of the Wholelife Energy Bond. In the Cosmic Whirlpool, I knew its power to free me, to raise many of us out of that spiraling torrent down into oblivion. Now I experience it connecting me with all these people, all of us bonding through the light-beams of the essence of our beings. Each being before me is a separate cosmos, unique and self-complete, worthy of full and caring attention. Each is wondrous beyond all wonders, yet here seeking crumbs of the Miraculous that fills them. Is there a way to tell, to show them not to be so meager with themselves? A way to help them come to ripeness and a readiness to step off the edge of their world, when they're called. About half way back in the Hall, I see Melissa, her face torn between awe and vengeance. Within, as her unseen, shadow self, is Meriflur, her face tenderly soft, her eyes rest as lovingly on mine as ever. I accept and inwardly bow to them both. Sitting next to her is the Abbot, gaunt face set in grim decision, in cold splinters of hate, unforgiving as death. The Divine Impulse also flows within him, but it is contained, shielded in a sheath that bars it from his awareness and life. Somehow, he can only look outward. All he can grasp is the superficial, fleeting appearance of things that, in themselves, have neither purpose nor satisfaction. Swirls in the dust of a never-ending thirst. A never ending torment. No wonder at his life-loathing. They both bear weapons and seething intention to kill me. We will see. My scan sweeps on. After I touch in with the last person, my focus of awareness opens to include them each and all, as individuals and together in this gathering. I close my eyes for a moment more, to bathe in the eternal peace, to give thanks and prayer for all who share this moment with me, who join with me in becoming the Visible Face of the One. Inwardly, I hold them in my cupped, outstretched hands, making the gesture of offering. I place them, each and all, on the altar of the One that is the Source and Goal. Beyond name, form, thought or imagining, without which all this is merely meaningless swirlings in the dust of eternity. Attuned to the composite aura that fills the room, I patiently await for clarity to source my words. Guidance comes, for them, for me. I open my eyes and cough a few times to clear my throat. "Perhaps, dear co-seekers," I give voice to what waits to be spoken, "perhaps we would like to reflect on what we really mean when we say 'I'"?
" Some part hears. Some part, of me, of you, hears and knows we are not trapped in the thorned nest of memories and self-pretends. Some part that watches itself watching, heals the delusion that we are transitory, derivative. Within all the questions we ask, that's the first, that's the ground. The infant grabbing at its toes and the sage in a Himalayan cave are drawn and driven by that question. "Who is this 'I'?" Because when we know and experience that, then we know what our being is all about. Then we make choices from that place within ourselves we really live from. Then we recognize each other for the right reasons. Like the multitude of selves that are facets of our own being, so each of our hearts and minds are facets of the Divine Heart and Mind. Isn't that what we really mean when we say 'I'?"
I let the question settle in for a bit, for them, for me. "Well, let me put it to you this way..." says the Wizard.
The End
Click on the chapters from the list on top left. Copyright Nathaniel Schwartz 2010 |
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